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Photo courtesy of The Nylon Gene |
March 1, 2003
By: AP Medical Correspondent (from CNN.com Archives)
NEW ENGLAND – A study published by the New England Journal of Medicine today touted some remarkable claims in life extension and cancer research.
Describing the discovery as "nothing short of a breakthrough", Dr. Brian Schiff took to the podium for yesterday's press release. "We may have a few doctors smirking now, but of most them have not yet seen the research."
Schiff explained that the research project has been on-going for the last 15 years, compiling data, reviewing medical records, and conducting case studies. "Our team includes some of the most respected medical professionals from around the world. -When we say this reseach is valid, we are staking our reputations on it".
The theory behind the study comes from a Johns Hopkins University study that found a correlation between telangiectasias (spider veins) and longevity. An ancient oriental cure was to bind the legs of the afflicted person. It not only aided, but often cured this malady. The side-effects of which were noted to be: reduced sicknesses, longevity and a recovery of strength.
"The trick to 'ancient leg binding' was not to bind the legs too tight", explained Schiff. "restiction of blood flow (arterial insufficiency) is not what is intended here. Systolic blood pressure in the two major arteries of the body has to be increased, but not restricted. Pantyhose seem to achieve this perfectly. The correct systolic blood pressure (systolic blood pressure is maximum pressure exerted when the heart contracts) forces the plaque build-up out of the heart and arteries harmlessly into the liver to be filtered. It also prevents cancerous cells from attaching themselves to the pulminary walls or other cells".
"We are talking about two major blood arteries (pathways) sped up by mild constriction, similiar to a garden hose when gently squeezed. The increased speed of the blood flow without constant calistentation (extreme excersize) not only improves the purifying process but also (in effect) 'wipes clean' the interior vascular (vein) linings". Dr. Schiff also noted that even patients with existing heart conditions due to plaque build-up in arteries -sinus and atrioventricular nodes, may benefit. "We're finding increasing proof that the use of a mild arterial restiction during sleep can actually increase health".
"Whether this study is embraced is not our goal. Our findings are clear and we will continue our research.".
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Now if thats not a doctor saying everyone should wear hose then well, "I'm a monkey's uncle" and I didn't evolve from apes. Thank God. New hosery slogan : Wear hose for life, your heart may depend on it.
ReplyDeleteAllen
LAUF
A big reason for men to enjoy mantyhose.
ReplyDelete..and it's good for you too! I've been wearing pantyhose/stockings/tights since I was little, (bought first pair of activskin formally comfilon around 16) and continue to enjoy the feeling and look of the hosiery.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Franco. ActivSkin makes a good product, and so it's no wonder you enjoy the feel of them. What do your friends and family have to say about you wearing them?
ReplyDeleteOmg! I will start wearing pantyhose for sure!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Steve,
ReplyDeleteI applaud the hard work you've done on this blog. But please do some fact checking before posting stories like this.
The story referenced in the "CNN.com Archives" is a hoax. For the record, the New England Journal of Medicine has no article by a "Dr. Brian Schiff" which has anything whatsoever to do with pantyhose. This is a verifiable fact.
There are also medical inaccuracies in the article, as well as a very Hollywood-esque depiction of how scientific findings are actually reported. I could elaborate in a followup post if you would like. Otherwise, suffice it to say, the author of that fictional article is basically trying to sell us on an idea which we have a vested interest in believing--that wearing pantyhose is a healthy endeavor.
I will not dispute that there may be some benefits to wearing certain types of pantyhose. However, physiologically speaking, those benefits are different from those described in the fictional article. I am a male wearer of pantyhose, so don't mistake my post for a critique on the idea of men wearing alternate forms of legwear. Just understand that when somebody tells us something that sounds too good to be true, a little fact checking can go a long way toward preventing the perpetuation of a falsehood.